4:20 to Yuma
You may have seen the news today that gangsta rap scion Lil’ Wayne was arrested in the most unlikely of places, Yuma, Arizona. Tucked into the southwest corner of the state, Yuma has been famous for many things - the majestic sand dunes, major motion pictures, and the Territorial Prison. This new infamy got me wondering… what was it like for Wayne inside the jail of a town most famous for its notorious old-west prison? Well, I have a few contacts in Yuma, and decided to place a call to a good buddy who had recently spent a little time there.
Bubba is good friend of mine, but truth be told - he likes to drink. Doesn’t matter what it is - Walgreen’s brand bourbon, High-Life or a gallon jug of Gallo. Bubba was never a dangerous drunk, quite the opposite-but one night he thought he could make it home. YPD caught him close to his house, and unfortunately Bubba was not able to testify on his own behalf because he “blacked out”. So Bubba gets 9 days in jail - what better person to ask how Lil Wayne may survive?
Tai-Pan: How would describe the 9 days you spent in Yuma County Jail?
Bubba: Well, let’s get a few things straight first - doing time is never easy bro. First off, get this…. NO BEER! I couldn’t believe it at first, I mean I coulda sworn I got busted in America. The most emotional part of lockup is the separation from loved ones. Its time you can never get back - Thank God I was on work release so I could see my girlfriend and parents at lunch every day
Tai-Pan: We all know Mr. Wayne is no stranger to the “other” side of a jail-cell. Do you think his previous time inside has prepared him for what he might encounter at Yuma County?
Bubba: You got me off track with the first question - I never got to the most humiliating part of staying at YCDC. I was on work release, so I had to check in and out every day. Check out was a breeze… checking back in was a nightmare. Yes, they do check your a–hole, and NO they aren’t polite about it. One guy didn’t even wear gloves or wash his hands. At mid-week, there was a different officer at check-in. He must have seen the terror on my face because he actually let me go without the “finger”. Sadly, I never saw him again…
Tai-Pan: Are you saying that Lil’ Wayne’s biggest fear should be BC searches?
Bubba: I don’t know what Wayne is thinking. Tell me, how would you feel if you knew that every day at 6:00 a big smelly, rather unattractive guy was gonna do that to you? You have no idea man….
Tai-Pan: So how did you spend most of your time in there?
Bubba: Cards, lots of cards…some extra showers… They also had a book cart that came by, so I was able to polish off the latest Janet Evanovich in a few days. Ooh! I almost forgot! There was a nightly rap battle!
Tai-Pan: You’re kidding me. That’s right up Wayne’s alley.
Bubba:Fo- Sho! Every night, Spooky and Darnell would face-off against Little Puppet and Steve. Spook had his stuff down, and usually made quick work of dem fools. We would all get in a circle and join hands as they threw down in the ring. I’ll never forget the time Spooky came up with 25 different ways to violate Steve’s mom. But in Steve’s defense, I think he is from Cambodia or something - I don’t know how much he understood.
Tai-Pan:Thanks a lot Bubba… what are you up to tonight? Gotta drink?
Bubba: Its Wednesday at 2:00 - of course I do. Got a little Diet Coke and Crown right now… I think I am just gong to take it easy tonight. I have a stack of ammo catalogs I have to go through - gotta buy another 20,000 rounds for my AR.
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Comments
i must also say good title… it is one that stephen hawkings football boots should have come up with.
Also nice pic… i have been there before.
Just to let you all know… they really do have rap battles in there. Darn why couldn’t Bubba have smuggled in a tape recorder?
In a way, he already does… Bubba will continue to provide us with hours of amusement. I have requested a pro Paul post, but I have to teach him how to turn on his new computer.
I was with Dwayne when he was arrested in Yuma. At the time, I was his girlfriend. How can I contact you?
the title is classic, so good it is worth forwarding on